Wednesday, August 03, 2005

Chris Barnes vs. George Corpsegrinder Fisher

I’m about to piss some people off…that is, if anyone ever reads this.

In the metal community, there is an issue dividing fans of Cannibal Corpse. The issue: Chris Barnes or George “Corpsegrinder” Fisher; Chris Barnes being the original Cannibal Corpse vocalist, and Corpsegrinder being the replacement. A lot of people’s loyalty remains with Barnes, while many people prefer the new singer. I happen to think that Corpsegrinder is better than Barnes in almost every way. Don’t get me wrong, in the old days Barnes was great. But Barnes’ vocal abilities and mental state have gone down the crapper like day-old beer shit.

After leaving Cannibal Corpse, Barnes started Six Feet Under. I liked their first few albums, but even then Barnes’ voice was much weaker than it was even on the last Cannibal Corpse CD he appeared on.

After a while Barnes’ love of smoking weed became even more obvious because the music on the album “Warpath” was so fucking boring, you’d have to be stoned to get a kick out of it. I hate braindead, hippy stoners so the song “4:20” really pissed me off. If I wanted to listen to boring ass stoner metal, I’d buy a Bongzilla CD. And if I wanted to listen to some drooling imbecile pine over weed and the joys of getting high, I’d go to the surf shop and talk to some surfers. I swear “Warpath” was recorded so Barnes could get high all day and write off the weed as a business expense.

The worst part about all of this, is how shitty Barnes’ voice got. Although some of the music was cool on Six Feet Under’s next CD or two, Barnes’ singing was so bad there was no real point listening to them anymore. In a few years, Barnes went from being a respected death metal vocalist to a dreadlocked stoner with a voice even frog would be ashamed of.

His croaking scratchy voice is so half-ass and weak now that it’s difficult to believe the vocals on Cannibal Corpse’s “Eaten Back to Life” and Six Feet Under’s “Bringer of Blood” were done by the same person. Not to mention Barnes’ whiney lyrics on the Six Feet Under song “Amerika the Brutal.” It might just be me, but there’s something stupid about throwing in an anti-war protest song when the rest of the CD is about killing people. I guess it’s just an awkward transition from chanting “No war” to singing:

I only kill when I can't keep them four days and then I sleep them-
To the grave that's right bitch, uh huh
You ll know I'm there when I follow turn around I'm behind you
I'm in the shadows close, so close I've almost got you
Doomed to the end dead from the beginning
That's right hear what the fuck I'm saying
I can't think straight I'm gonna break, break down
You can't escape you re gonna die slow now
It's all a part of my master plan
Everyone ends up dead in the end
Hell yeah”
So while Barnes chokes on stupid lyrics like he’s got a toad dick in his throat, Corpsegrinder kicks ass on Cannibal Corpse’s CD “The Wretched Spawn.” Corpsegrinder has a great vocal range and goes from bludgeoning, guttural, vocal vomiting to intense, throat-ripping screams with ease.

Corpsegrinder is just better than Barnes. In the same way, I’ll take Cannibal Corpse over Six Feet Under any day. While I still listen to old Cannibal Corpse and feel somewhat nostalgic, I can’t ignore how shitty Barnes’ voice has gotten. I mean really, a woman with strep throat giving birth to a rhinoceros has a better singing voice than the current Chris Barnes. Now, I’m going to sit back and rock out to “The Wretched Spawn” and wait for the hate mail to roll in.

8 comments:

drunkbh said...

I don'y know any of this but I'll look it up.

Kenrick said...

Damn Paul you sure have alot on your mind!
Anyway keep up the fucking good work. The world needs Angry Rants from people like you it keeps the balance. By the way I am thinking of taking a year to get my BS in Advertising. Whats your thoughts?

morbid misanthrope said...

Kenrick - Imagine the shit I don't write down.
There's a reason it's called a BS. You don't intend to return to AICA-SD do you? I would imagine the only benefit you'd get from going back to that godforsaken place would be a few Greco classes.
I would think your current work situation would be infinitely better than going back to school. Give me a call sometime. I'd like to know why you'd even think about getting your BS in advertising.

Rob said...

Dude, I haven't listened to Cannibal Corpse in a long time. I think I go dust off 'The Bleeding'. And great blog by the way. I read it often at work. Rob.

Kenrick said...

A Podcast is like internet radio. If you go back on my blog you will see it in blue it says PODCAST then a date on it. Click on it and you can hear my gay little podcasts. What can I say it gives me something to do.

morbid misanthrope said...

rob - Cannibal Corpse rules. I just got the new Hate Eternal and it dominates. Nice motorcycle by the way.

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