Thursday, September 29, 2005

Congrats John Roberts

Congratulations to John Roberts who after weeks of inane mostly partisan questioning, bitching, protesting, stalling, and vehement, slobbering screed, was finally sworn in as the 17th Chief Justice of the United States.

Wednesday, September 28, 2005

Some Teenage Girls Killed Themselves! Let's Blame Music Again! recently posted the story of two, 14 year-old, French girls who committed suicide in Paris. They bound their wrists together and jumped out of a 17th- story window. Sounds like pretty normal behavior for overly-dramatic teenage girls looking for attention. They should’ve just written shitty poetry instead; at least then people wouldn’t be blaming the suicide on music again.

Of course certain groups are blaming the French black metal band Anorexia Nervosa and their “violent and death-obsessed lyrics that can tip the sensitive into self-destruction.” Am I ever sick of hearing this bullshit excuse. These girls were essentially depressed gothic chicks with low self-esteem who wanted more attention, most likely from their snotty French parents. So when acting out by wearing all black and listening to scary music didn’t make their parents pay more attention to them, they had a pity party and jumped out of a window. Incidentally, if they would have learned how to mime I’m sure their parents would have paid plenty of attention to them.

Now, as most other people on the planet, one of the girls had a weblog. Here are a few things she posted there. I’m not sure if they are Anorexia Nervosa lyrics or her own lyrics because the article on didn’t do a great job making it very clear. I could have just looked up Anorexia Nervosa’s lyrics, but I have better things to do.

“I hate you. I vomit on your soul and your family. Death to your parents. Torture and rape to your children. I hate you to death." Scary. It’s nice to know that 14 year old French girls are infinitely more threatening than the entire French army.

"You are the whore of human weakness. Tepid and obscene. Blinded by the sweaty desire of vanity. Worthless." Translation: That bitch across the schoolyard looks so good in her skirt and I feel fat today. What a stupid stuck-up whore she must be. Damn, why did I wear JNCO’s today? They make my ass look so fat! I bet that stupid, vain whore can eat rich food all day and never gain weight, while I have to eat nothing but yogurt or I look like the Michelin Man. That Bitch!

"I can't take any more. I have had enough. I have burned my eyes and I am afraid." Translation: If I kill myself then they’ll miss me. Yeah, how would they feel if I was gone? I’ll show them!

Of course, if these are Anorexia Nervosa’s lyrics, you’d have to be a real drama-queen to take them seriously. Which is funny because the band is composed of a bunch of dudes…oh yeah, they’re French. Nevermind.

The fact is, music did not make these two teens kill themselves. If the lyrics could make people kill themselves there’d be a lot more dead Frogs about. If the lyrics can make people commit suicide, wouldn’t the members of the band have killed themselves by now? After all, they wrote the lyrics, and they must have meant what they wrote. Sorry, no. Their dark lyrics are purely theatrical and written to sell CDs and sound scary. Which reminds me, it's been a while since I beat up someone wearing a Cradle of Filth shirt.

Whenever someone who happens to listen to metal (and many times even pussy rock like Marilyn Manson) commits suicide, people are quick to blame music instead of parental neglect or abuse, psychological conditions, or just plain-old gothic-teen-girl attention-craving angst. Some people just want to die. Shit happens. But blaming music takes the blame away from the real issues, and generally pisses me off. Hell, some of the bands I listen to have burned down churches and murdered people. I’ve never done either of the two (By the way, I’ve never asked Satan to rain down fire on the Christians either, and I’m fairly sure you don’t even go to jail for that). Blaming music for suicide is like blaming aliens for crop circles. Either way you’re out in left field while the real culprits are skulking away just out of sight.

UPDATE: Today on more information was posted about the teen girl suicide. It turns out, “Both girls — it transpired — were heavily influenced by the so-called goth movement. They wore black clothes and body studs.” I called it.

I also surmised they were both desperate for attention. The circumstances surrounding their suicide backs up this assumption:

Last Friday afternoon (Sept. 23) Marion and Virginie, both aged 14, visited a friend's apartment at the top of a tower-block in the middle-class suburb of Ivry-sur-Seine. After telling him to wait in an adjoining room and expect a "surprise", they bound their hands together. "Then they said, 'Come in.' And I saw them on the window-ledge. I couldn't do anything. They just jumped," the friend Benjamin later told the press.

They just had to get that last bit of attention didn’t they? Also:

“Jeff Veillet, of leading French rock magazine Rock One, agreed: ‘Yes, there is a provocative side to groups like ANOREXIA. But just because they talk about death in their songs, it does not mean they want people to commit suicide. It is an act — a way of getting through to adolescents. They are not aggressive people at all.’"

Shit, they’re French. Of course they’re not “aggressive.” This shit happens from time to time yet the first thing people blame is music when, as I as well as many others have said, music isn't what did it. I'm sure this isn't the last time this kind of thing will happen, which is too bad because I am rather sick of hearing about it.

Tuesday, September 27, 2005

Sculptor of Flesh

1349 just released a video for the song "Sculptor of Flesh." It's a damn good song and a cool video. Since I don't have time to post much right now, here's a link to the video (it might take a bit of time to load). Enjoy.

"Sculptor of Flesh" off of the album "Hellfire" by 1349

You're Still a Tool

Osamahatesu is a tool. Yeah, I know this is immature, but the sheer amount of alcohol residue in my bloodstream coupled with the huge number of freelance jobs I have right now leave me little enthusiasm or time to do much better.

Tuesday, September 20, 2005

It's the End of the World

I just saw a TV show called “Millionaire Trailer Parks.” That has to be an oxymoron…or maybe it’s one of the signs of the apocalypse. I guess the next signs of the end of the world will be the four horsemen wreaking havoc on the populations of the world, and Kanye West sitting down, reading a book with no pictures, and actually understanding it.

Thursday, September 15, 2005

Reciting the Pledge of Allegiance in Public Schools is now Unconstitutional

Here is a short article from the website Someone sent this article to my e-mail. Check it out.

Reciting the Pledge of Allegiance in public schools was ruled unconstitutional Wednesday by a federal judge who granted legal standing to two families represented by an atheist who lost his previous battle before the U.S. Supreme Court.

U.S. District Judge Lawrence Karlton ruled that the pledge’s reference to one nation “under God” violates school children’s right to be “free from a coercive requirement to affirm God.”

Karlton said he was bound by precedent of the 9th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals, which in 2002 ruled in favor of Sacramento atheist Michael Newdow that the pledge is unconstitutional when recited in public schools.

The Pledge of Allegiance doesn’t bother me. What bothers me are minuscule groups of stupid people so fucking uptight they have to waste thousands of dollars and hours in U.S. Courts when all they have to do is tell their kids – who probably have no idea what’s going on in the first place – simply not to recite two simple words.

And what’s with this “coercive requirement to affirm God” bullshit. There is no law saying that children have to recite that part of the pledge. That’s not good enough for some busy-body jerkoffs however, and they have to tie up the courts with bullshit like this. Not only that, but then they go and ruin it for the multitudes of other people who have no problem with the pledge; not to mention the good portion of those people who appreciate the Pledge of Allegiance and want their kids to recite it.

In fact, I love the Pledge of Allegiance. That’s fucking right I do. It’s patriotic and it reminds us of all the freedoms we’re given as citizens of this fine country. I try not to get too political here, but I’m very involved in politics in my daily life and sometimes bullshit like this just gets to me.

In summation: It’s two words you obsessive, nosy, obtrusive, self-important, cockwads. Instead of making a federal case out of it, just tell your kids not to say those two words. And for shit’s sake, get a hobby instead of flipping out over every little thing. I suggest you take up something like finding new and effective ways to keep your pinheads out of your dumbasses.

UPDATE: Here is a link to a very good article regarding this post. Also, it is profanity free!

Wednesday, September 14, 2005

A Completely Misguided Memorial

I just saw the Flight 93 Memorial that was unveiled last week, and I am pissed.

Flight 93 was hijacked by fanatical, Muslim terrorists in an attempt (most likely) to crash the plane into the White House. But because of the brave American badasses who sacrificed their lives to foil the terrorists’ plans and crashed the plane in an empty field in Shanksville, Pa., Flight 93 has become known as the “Flight that Fought Back.”

Passenger Todd Beamer’s last words before attacking the terrorists were, “Let’s roll.” That statement completely sums up the attitudes of those brave Americans that gave their lives to stop a terrorist attack on our great country. That is what any memorial to Flight 93 should be: a reminder of the bravery and sacrifice of those passengers who were determined to fight back against those seeking to destroy America.

But instead, the “Crescent of Embrace” was unveiled. The memorial, which is a crescent of maple trees surrounding the crash site, is meant to convey a sense of “healing” and “contemplation.” Well, either in one colossal failure to catch the obvious, or yet another spineless act of politically correct cowardice, the crescent happens to be a Muslim symbol; you know one of the religious symbols Muslim extremists use to justify the murder of innocent people in terrorist attacks worldwide.

In my opinion, the memorial is less “Crescent of Embrace” and more “Crescent to Placate Muslims Who Might Be Offended by a Monument Praising Americans for Stopping a Terrorist Attack on America.” You just don’t use an Islamic symbol to honor the sacrifice and memory of people killed by Islamic terrorists.

Also, as Michelle Malkin put it so well in a recent article regarding the so-called memorial, “Let's set aside the utter boneheaded-ness of using a symbol that, inadvertently or not, commemorates the killers' faith instead of the victims' revolt. The soft-and-fuzzy memorial design of ‘Crescent of Embrace’ still does injustice to the steely courage of Flight 93's passengers and crew.”

Paul Murdoch, the architect responsible for the memorial also hung wind chimes in a tower at the site “as a gesture of healing and bonding.” Who exactly are we supposed to be bonding with? This all sounds like a bunch of politically correct bullshit to encourage people to love and respect everyone else; especially people who blow up airplanes full of innocent Americans. And that is why I’m pissed.

Tuesday, September 06, 2005

Never Ask Me to Fill Out a Survey

I got an email the other day asking me to do a short online survey about my video renting habits. I rent videos often because I hate movie theaters, so I figured I'd do the survey. Why the fuck not? I may have mentioned it before, but renting videos is a pain the ass because every asshole and his girlfriend are usually in the store, unknowingly doing everything in their power to piss me off. Well, near the end of the survey I was given a suggestion box to tell Blockbuster what they could do to make my video renting experience more enjoyable. At first I was just going to skip it; instead I ranted like a maniac. It's amazing what comes out of my head when I get pissed off. I wrote 308 words (in under one minute) about the shitheads that frequent Blockbuster. Here are my suggestions to Blockbuster Video:

My only gripe with Blockbuster is the other customers. You got "Mr. I'm so important I have to be on my cell phone at all times" taking up the isle, blocking the movies, and giving me a headache with his incessant, saliva-shooting, loud-mouth. Then you have Pedro and his 20 refugee children running around like lunatics holding up the check out line while the employee tries over and over again to explain why they can't pay for their Spanish language version of the Little Mermaid with Pesos. Plus, none of the other customers can understand the concept of a line, and they just stand around in some kind of dumbassed stupor like wild turkeys drowning in the rain. Hell, before I even walk in the door, some kid dressed like whichever rapper is popular that day is standing outside hassling me to give him money to buy new outfits for his school basketball team through ebonics so thick it's no longer English. When I refused I swear he threatened me but I couldn't understand a word he said - it was like he had a broken jaw and a mouth full of crap. My only real complaint with Blockbuster itself is they won't let this guy wash car windows in front of the store. He's the nicest guy in the world and he just wants to make a few bucks. But no, they make him leave probably because some stupid soccer mom with an ass so fat it rivals the width of her minivan was bothered by his harmless presence. My suggestion to Blockbuster would be, keep all the stupid people out of the store. Of course, that will never happen so I would also suggest they don't chase away the nice, yet down on his luck, window washing guy trying to make money so he can eat.

There you have it. There are so many run-on sentences, my College English teacher would puke if she read it. Bad grammar aside; take that Blockbuster! I'd like to see the look on the marketing guy's face when he reads my suggestions. After looking through boring research information day after day, maybe he'll appreciate my colorful response.

Thursday, September 01, 2005

Speak English Porfavour

The other day I went to Jack in the Box for some lunch. I was hungover, stressing over work deadlines, and essentially in a really shitty mood. All I wanted was some cheap-ass food (and some alcohol honestly, but I do have a modicum of self-control). I went inside and made my way to the counter to order some food. When I got to the counter, there was no one there to take my order. After a minute or two (right before my patience wore out and I killed something) a woman appeared and took her place behind the register. And the order went a little something like this:

Woman: Jes? What can I get for joo?
Me: Four tacos.
Woman: Si. (followed by a string of Spanish I didn’t understand).
Me: Excuse me?
Woman: Two-sisteen.
Me: Sorry, I don’t have any change. Here’s three bucks.

She gave me my change and receipt and yelled to some people sitting down in the kitchen. I sat and waited for the food. Finally, my order was up. To my surprise, the order was wrong. I ordered four tacos, and I was given one monster taco. You know what? If you’re going to work in America and cater to English speaking customers, learn the language. At least learn it well enough to understand the menu. I mean, holy shit! Half of my order was in fucking Spanish! “Four Tacos.” Half Spanish! How could she have misunderstood what I said?

Me: Excuse me. I ordered four tacos, not one monster taco.
Woman: What?
Me: This order is wrong. I didn’t ask for this. I asked for four tacos.
Woman: (Looking at me obviously confused) Joo want another one?
Me: No. I want four regular tacos. I never ordered a monster taco.
Woman: Four regular tacos?
Me: Yes. But, I will pay for this monster taco as well because I don’t want it going to waste.
Woman: Okay. Four regular tacos.
Me: Yes.
Woman: (Barks order into microphone and throws away the monster taco)
Me: I just said I would pay for that monster taco as well. Why did you throw it away?
Woman: But joo wanted four regular tacos, no?
Me: Yeah, but I said I would…you know what? Never mind. Just give me the four tacos.

This is the kind of shit that pisses me off. Taking an order at a fast food restaurant doesn’t even require a person to know much English. You have to know a few key words like “Burger,” “Sandwich,” “French Fries,” and “Fish.” Other than that, all you need to know is basic conversational English and how to count our currency. I’m not asking for much.

If you’re going to live and work in America, just learn basic English. You get to come here (legally and even illegally which is another issue all together) and take advantage of all of our freedoms and all I ask in return is that when I place a simple order, you get it right. Because seriously, if this bullshit happens again, I’m calling la migra from my cell phone.