Wednesday, June 07, 2006

Viva Las Vegas

Much to my readers’ disappointment—yeah, I’m real sure—I haven’t posted anything for a while; fact is, I’ve been out of town.

After quitting a job I would compare to shoveling flaming sand on sodomites in the inner ring of the seventh circle of Dante’s hell (and, of course, instead of being guided by Virgil, I was bossed around by a yappy, incompetent Frenchman) I decided to head to Las Vegas. Las Vegas is the perfect place for someone like me for a number of reasons.

For one, you can drink and smoke damn near anywhere. This always amazes me, because in California people are so anti-smoking, they literally walk around in bands of four or five, waiting to crucify anyone who lights up—bastards.

And don’t even get me started on the anti-alcohol fascism in California. The last time I was at the beach—where a new law had just been passed prohibiting alcohol consumption on said beach—I witnessed a policeman giving a homeless man a ticket for drinking a beer. That’s right. They were fining a homeless guy. In Las Vegas, however, I spent most of my time walking around swilling Wild Turkey, and no one looked at me twice. Even playing Metal Slug in the Luxor arcade while as drunk as a Massachusetts senator didn’t phase anyone.

I must admit, I have quite an affinity for video poker. Sure, most guys play poker at the tables, but I try to avoid human contact as much as possible. Besides, I won over two-hundred bucks playing video poker while enjoying six or seven double scotches. It doesn’t get much better than that.

It was a great and highly successful trip, and I’ll try to post something angry and virulent soon. In the meantime: viva Las Vegas.

11 comments:

neko said...

so.. im confused.. did you like or dislike your previous job?

its hard to tell with masochists..

what did you do with the loot you won at video poker? buy MORE booze and ciggs?

morbid misanthrope said...

I'm not a masochist at all; I'm a misanthrope. The only reason I put up with that shitty job for as long as I did was for the money: The monkey on my back doesn't feed itself.

Actually, I kept the money I won until I returned home, at which point I bought a few books...and some more alcohol and cigarettes. Oh yes, and the new Dissection CD.

neko said...

okay - so you're into death metal.. what kinda books are you into?

do you often read, smoke and drink simultaneously?

morbid misanthrope said...

You have to be careful when you drink, smoke, and read at the same time; you might pass out, ash on your book, and burn to death.

Cherry! said...

I think we should get married Morbid. We have so much in common.

Wise woman (that's me) once said 'People and I are like water and oil. We don't mix' and then I skulled a bottle of red and moved onto the vodka (so it wasn't whiskey, but it was alcohol).

morbid misanthrope said...

I drink a lot of wine before I hit the hard stuff, too. Well, either a few bottles of wine (two- dollar wine) or a few 40s of Old English.

I don't marry or date, though. I would, however, drink with you. First round's on you, right? I don't make much money.

honkeie2 said...

Morbid is one hell of a trip...if you ever come out to NJ let me know we can hit the bottle for a day or so. I will buy the first bottle......I dont do bars I am too cheap. A case of Night flight for 12 bucks....cannt go wrong.

Cherry! said...

Yeah okay, I'll buy the first round. But I make jack shit too. Maybe we could just sit on the balcony and drink instead of going out. More comfortable and cheaper. The less mixing with peeps the better.

morbid misanthrope said...

honkeie2 -- If I'm ever out NJ way, I'll let you know. I much prefer cheap alcohol to bar drinks any day. Other than this trip to Las Vegas, I haven't been to a bar since I saw Anal Blast play at Brick by Brick.

cherry! -- Good point. The less mixing with other people the better. That's why I drink alone all the time. Well, it's one of the many reasons I suppose.

Anonymous said...

Looking for information and found it at this great site...
» »

Anonymous said...

Looking for information and found it at this great site... search engine optimization submission placement meta tags Celebrex side effects toxicity Mattresses switzerland buy phendimetrazine online buy insurance online travel Didrex adipex bontril phentermine.com Bbw cassandra R xanax online