Tuesday, January 23, 2007

Another Article of Interest

More of the Same: Outrage in the Muslim Community
By Max Bojo, Associated Press

Not long ago, more controversy erupted as a group of Muslims were not permitted on an international flight because they were late. The Muslims, as they are prone to doing, claimed they were kept off the flight due to religious discrimination.

“It’s another clear-cut case of attempting to ‘fly while Muslim.’ Well I’ll tell you something: I’m furious! This discrimination makes me so mad I could cut the heads off the airline infidels, shove bombs down their necks, and praise Allah as they are blown to bits!” said one of the grounded Muslims shortly before he popped Islamic wood and ran around in circles screaming “Allahu Akbar.”

Although Muslims and Muslim groups everywhere are crying foul, airline officials insist that they were just following airline protocol for late passengers attempting to board an international flight. We spoke to one of the airline officials present when the incident occurred. He wished to remain anonymous.

“It’s a very simple matter. We require all passengers of international flights to be present one hour before takeoff. These Muslim jokers showed up, like, twenty minutes before takeoff demanding to be let on board before anyone even told them they were late. It was like they showed up outraged. Then they start bitching about discrimination. God, it was incessant. They didn’t let up for one second, even when I pointed to a couple of drunken businessmen who weren’t allowed on the plane either. They never said why they were late, but I think it was because it took them longer than they planned to sneak their bombs through security. Wait! I didn’t say that! Shit….”

Due to pressure from such Muslim groups as CAIR (Crazy Arabs Inciting Riots), the airline has since issued an apology and caved in to Muslim demands. Not only will the grounded Muslims fly free for a year, but several airline employees will have to lick a sacred Islamic camel’s nuts in order to make their tongues halal so they can speak to Muslims without insulting them. CAIR founder Bosama bin Baden is encouraged by this victory and is urging Muslims everywhere to fight discrimination the same way the grounded Muslims did. Needless to say, Muslims everywhere are now brutally fighting discrimination.

In Palo Alto, California, Abu Hibjab sued a McDonald’s for discrimination after employees refused to serve him breakfast at 3:23 pm. The court awarded him 3.6 million dollars. When asked what he was going to do with his winnings, he said “I’m going to flight school!”

A group of Muslims in North Carolina are suing Home Depot for discrimination because when they attempted to enter the store well after midnight, they were kept outside by locked doors.

“The lights were off and the doors were locked. It’s obvious the store’s employees saw us coming and closed because we were Muslims!” said alleged discrimination victim Tariq al Karzai. “All we wanted was a few bags of fertilizer, some gasoline, maybe a few gallons of pesticide, and some propane, but those bigots kept us out. I think we will be vindicated in court. Praise Allah for the American legal system.”

All over the country Muslims are now actively and relentlessly fighting discrimination no matter how imaginary it may be. From the Muslim in Texas suing his cell phone company for charging him more during peak hours to the Imam in Maine suing his cable provider for charging him for pay-per-view porn, American Muslims will no longer be discriminated against.

26 comments:

neko said...

you've gota be kidding me.

neko said...

you've gotta be kidding me.

honkeie2 said...

Well hell I feel I was wronged at my local bar. They said I could no longer be served because I was too drunk.....hell isnt that the point of going to the bar!?!

prunella jones said...

Bwahahahaha. I thought of a pretty sweet comment but I just remembered that I am a woman so I'll just go wrap a blanket around myself and stay quiet. Praise Allah!

morbid misanthrope said...

neko -- Well, I have a feeling some of the article is satirical in nature, but the Muslims that were late to an international flight and therefore not permitted on board really did make a fuss and loads of bullshit ensued.

honkeie2 -- Good point. I never understood that whole "you're drunk, so get outta' my bar" mentality. You'd think that the bar owners would be happy they're doing their job: getting people torn up.

prunella jones -- Muslim women aren't allowed to use blankets--unless the dog is done with his. If the family pet isn't using his blanket one of a man's wives may use it so long as her husband is done boning and/or beating her. I think it's in the koran right next to the passage about dropping boulders on homosexuals.

neko said...

discrimination is a serious issue.

but, abusing the term coz you're an inconsiderate a-hole who can't read a ticket and adhere to the normal rules set out for everyone, is something else entirely.

*sigh*

badgerbob said...

That was a great post. Interesting, and hilarious.

morbid misanthrope said...

neko -- There's more to it than just inconsiderate assholes (I don't know if you remember those Muslims that got kicked off a flight for extremely suspicious behavior), but expect a lot more of it in the near future.

badgerbob -- Max Bojo is my favorite member of the Associated Press.

NewYorkMoments said...

I think we should accommodate them more often. We should let them all gather in the grand canyon with bombs strapped around their waists & let them blow themselves up.

Polyman3 said...

Give em hell, Morb.

morbid princess said...

a little respect for the muslims plzzzzzzzzzz.........why everythin happened......muslims are the first who had been blamed ....n they're always the mistaken.....so why? it was just an incident they could b muslims as they could be christains.....n so on ....
"soyer reasonable mes freres et mes soeurs...."

morbid misanthrope said...

Newyorkmoments – I’m all in favor of accommodating them with an all-Muslim airline. That solves a number of problems.

Polyman3 – I will, sir. Such is the life of a cynical pragmatist with internet access.

Morbid Princess – Wow. That was barely a comment. But since English isn’t your first language, I’ll overlook that and try to answer you.

Christians can be annoying, but I can’t think of any Christians using airplanes to blow up large American buildings; cutting innocent peoples’ heads off and posting the brutal executions online; dragging the bodies of US soldiers through the streets in the Middle East; killing innocent men, women, and children with car bombs almost every day; planning major terrorist attacks worldwide; teaching their children there is no greater glory than killing infidels; and on and on and on. Or, for that matter, how many Christians play the discrimination card and get on the news when they’re late for a flight. None that I can think of.

Not all Muslims are terrorists or troublemakers, but most of the bad shit happening in the world is due to Islamofascists. And as far as I’m concerned, the Muslims that aren’t openly opposed to the “Muslim extremists” are just as bad as the Muslims blowing themselves up for a one-way ticket to Allah Land.

I’m not politically correct, and I calls em’ as I sees em’. Besides, those Muslims asshats at the airport were denied boarding because they were late. It wasn’t discrimination; it was their own stupid fault. Fuck them. And fuck them extra for causing a needless stink and being on the news every time I turned the TV on that week.

willow said...

Hi Morb, glad to hear that you're ok...well maybe ok isn't the right word to use when you're talking to someone called Morbid Misanthrope; so I'll just say that I'm glad that you're out of the hospital.

If Muslims believe they are being discriminated against by the airlines, go to the source of the problem.

Find any Muslim extremist who was part and parcel of the group that funded and applauded the destruction and death on 911, and have them beheaded.

Then televise it on Arab TV so that the message is sent to the islamic world that "Any individual who kills innocent people, and fucks up the comfortable lives that we're living in the Western world, will pay with their life."

Problem solved.

badgerbob said...

Willow, you surprise me with such hostility. Although I whole heartedly agree with you, I am both shocked and appalled at your most recent comments. Do the guards know that you have missed bedcheck again, or are you out on a Butterscotch Palace day-pass?

willow said...

I missed bedcheck because I was missing a bedpan. And since we both know that you like to steal bedpans and piss in them as a way of showing affection for people; once I saw mine was missing, I fled from the Insane hospital where I was conducting an initial assessment, and I hightailed it home to get my shotgun.

badgerbob said...

Don't you mean, that you were "undergoing" an initial assessment, and fled for fear of being restrained , due to severe mental illness.

NewYorkMoments said...

Blech. Quelle Conne!

Some skank qui ne parle pas l'Anglais comments here & sticks up for Muslims?

What the fuck kind of world are we living in?

morbid misanthrope said...

willow -- I'm sure all the nurses and doctors are glad I'm out of the hospital too. They took so much of my blood during the 17 days I was there, I think they're trying to clone me in the basement. Or the vampire doctors down there wanted some alcoholic blood for their New Year's party.

That's an interesting solution. And since Islamic terrorists only understand fear, intimidation, and power, it might work out.

Of course, it might hurt some people's feelings. Isn't it funny how other than CAIR and other Muslim organizations, non-Muslims are the first to defend Muslims? What the fuck is up with that?

badgerbob & willow -- That's the most entertainment I've had since my hospital room neighbor choked on his own tongue.

newyorkmoments -- In a world where people just want to blow Muslims apparently; metaphorically, of course. The Muslim asshole licking, however, is completely literal.

NewYorkMoments said...

Who wants to blow Muslims? Wait...did you mean...blow them up? OK. But only with their own bombs.

Ewwww! I'd NEVER lick an muslim's asshole. I'd rather lick a baboon's asshole.

morbid misanthrope said...

newyorkmoments -- Everyone wants to blow Muslims figuratively. I can't believe how defensive some people get when it comes to Islam, foaming at the mouth while they chant "Religion of peace! Religion of peace!" I hope they get cancer.

Dan said...

Fanatics will always be discriminated against. Basic human reaction.

morbid misanthrope said...

dan -- I'd rather be suspicious than headless. Another basic human reaction.

BD said...

Wasn't it coined - don't piss in another mans pool?

morbid misanthrope said...

bd -- I prefer "Don't fuck with America."

NewYorkMoments said...

Asscancer!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

morbid misanthrope said...

newyorkmoments -- I read that fucking camels could cause asscancer. The article didn't specify if the camel or the camel fucker got the asscancer, though. I will just point out, however, that Muslims pray on their knees, not sitting down. Coincidence?