American Idol is fucking stupid.

This show is so damn stupid. I've never even watched it because the commercials for it tell me enough to know it is a big, faggy, waste of time. There are enough jackasses in the world, yet, somehow, people keep finding ways to put more of them on tv. What a load of crap. American Idol, World Idol, the whole mess just makes the world a dumber place.

For those of you who love the show, there is good news; they made a video game based on the show. When I heard there was an American Idol video game, I almost went crazy. I could feel my brain changing its shape. I started to drool and got the urge to run around killing people with scissors. I almost lost it, but was able to maintain my sanity. I've never watched the show and I never will, but I have a few ideas that would make the show much better.

1. Everytime someone sucks at singing, a crying clown should run into the room and beat the contestant mercilessly with a freshly-clubbed, baby seal.

2. Every trendy, stupid, jackass who appears on the show should be ambushed by ten angry ninjas during thier moving renditions of whatever shitty mtv friendly song they are in the middle of singing.

3. Everyone involved with the show in any way should all be gathered together in one room and incinerated.

4. For every tear a losing contestant sheds, he/she will be shanked in the genitals by an alcoholic midget with a silly haircut.

5. Anyone who is surprised when berated by the British fellow will be lobotomized with an ice pick. The process is much like the ancient Egyptian practice of removing one's brain during the mummification process.

I think idea number three would be the coolest. I hope someone from FOX calls me and asks to use my ideas. I'll get paid a large sum of money for my ideas, and American Idol would come to an end. That would be swell.