Monday, May 23, 2005

Buddha pisses me off

Why? Look at him. What an asshole. Sitting around with that smarmy grin on his face, thinking he's better than me. Lazy bastard; of course he's going to preach against materialism, he was too lazy to get a fuckin' job. Everyone should have called him a lazy bum, but he was a smooth talker and made himself look really fuckin cool and wise for essentially being a hobo.
Life is suffering, no shit! That's not an epiphany that's common sense. It took him six years to figure that out. Nice insight fatass.

Sitting around under a tree telling me what to do, I don't think so man. Buddhism teaches tolerance for all other religions and beliefs. You know why, because Buddha was too much of a pussy to punch, say, a catholic in the face and proudly and confidently say, "My religion is better faggot". No wars have even been fought in the name of Buddhism. What kind of lame ass shit is that. No wonder all the other religions think Buddhism is a sissy.

Buddhism is like the wimpy, paste-eating kid in school who gets picked on for eating paste but never stands up for himself. Instead of cowering in the corner with his tub-o-paste, Buddhism needs to stand up for himself and kick some ass. Then, maybe the other religions would let him in their club. Instead of answering an insult with a silly pacifistic statement, he should start kicking people in the balls. Maybe he just needs to grow some balls. He needs to get off the 8-fold path and onto a stairmaster. What a dick.

10 comments:

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neko said...

if you don't like buddha, you must not be part of the target audience.

dont sweat it.

morbid misanthrope said...

neko -- Good point. I almost forgot what large marketing teams religions have working for them these days. Surely they know what they're doing. I'll sign up for the Buddha fan club when they give him an extreme makeover, and he starts riding a magic motorcycle and firing laser beams from his third eye.

neko said...

omg, i think the message will be lost if buddha gets a thighmaster.

morbid misanthrope said...

neko -- The message might be lost, but at least Buddha would look pretty fit. A religious spokesperson needs thighs that can crush rocks. After all, he is competing with Jesus' buff abs.

neko said...

jesus had buff abs?

i thought is was the metal heairstyle he had that got chicks goin.

morbid misanthrope said...

neko -- The Messiah did a lot of sit-ups.

His hair certainly helped, as did His sweet beard. Chicks dig beards and scars.