Monday, June 27, 2005

An Open Letter to Sen. Dick Durbin

Sir, you are a tool. The practically treasonous statements you made were not only based on exaggerations and lies, they were just plain ridiculous and harmful to American morale in these difficult times. For these outlandish statements and your phony apology I say, fuck you. Though you are a Senator, I have no respect for you. I’d sooner vote for mandatory colonics than vote for you for any position.

Based on the statements you made, I have determined you are not competent enough to hold any position higher than peep show booth cleaner, a position also known as jizz-mopper. Even then, I wouldn’t trust you to do your job properly because I don’t think you’re capable of mopping up DNA without slandering innocent people. Our troops are brave and honorable, and unlike you, a human shit stain, I support them and our military.

Your pseudo-pology was not even close to making up for your slander. At the very least, you should have immediately retracted your statement. Since you did not, and since so many Americans are ashamed of your behavior, you should step down, or as I would say, get the fuck out of the senate you dickhead.

You are the epitome of what is wrong with this country. I urge you and the majority of your crooked party to immigrate north to Canada where you can despise the United States without actually being in a position of power to further ruin this great country. Or you could stick weights up your ass and jump in a lake. As long as I don’t have to listen to your bullshit, I’ll be happy.

In summation: Fuck you, go to hell (or Canada).

Cordially,

Morbid Misanthrope
Commander of the Misanthropic Army
Truly an Army of One.

3 comments:

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neko said...

do you honestly think someone will take a letter -addressed to them- seriously which starts with, "sir, you are a tool."?

^_^

that's hilarious.

morbid misanthrope said...

neko -- Considering who Dick Durbin is, I'm sure he gets that salutation quite often. He should be grateful I didn't take the easy route and make a dick joke.