Thursday, September 01, 2005

Speak English Porfavour

The other day I went to Jack in the Box for some lunch. I was hungover, stressing over work deadlines, and essentially in a really shitty mood. All I wanted was some cheap-ass food (and some alcohol honestly, but I do have a modicum of self-control). I went inside and made my way to the counter to order some food. When I got to the counter, there was no one there to take my order. After a minute or two (right before my patience wore out and I killed something) a woman appeared and took her place behind the register. And the order went a little something like this:

Woman: Jes? What can I get for joo?
Me: Four tacos.
Woman: Si. (followed by a string of Spanish I didn’t understand).
Me: Excuse me?
Woman: Two-sisteen.
Me: Sorry, I don’t have any change. Here’s three bucks.

She gave me my change and receipt and yelled to some people sitting down in the kitchen. I sat and waited for the food. Finally, my order was up. To my surprise, the order was wrong. I ordered four tacos, and I was given one monster taco. You know what? If you’re going to work in America and cater to English speaking customers, learn the language. At least learn it well enough to understand the menu. I mean, holy shit! Half of my order was in fucking Spanish! “Four Tacos.” Half Spanish! How could she have misunderstood what I said?

Me: Excuse me. I ordered four tacos, not one monster taco.
Woman: What?
Me: This order is wrong. I didn’t ask for this. I asked for four tacos.
Woman: (Looking at me obviously confused) Joo want another one?
Me: No. I want four regular tacos. I never ordered a monster taco.
Woman: Four regular tacos?
Me: Yes. But, I will pay for this monster taco as well because I don’t want it going to waste.
Woman: Okay. Four regular tacos.
Me: Yes.
Woman: (Barks order into microphone and throws away the monster taco)
Me: I just said I would pay for that monster taco as well. Why did you throw it away?
Woman: But joo wanted four regular tacos, no?
Me: Yeah, but I said I would…you know what? Never mind. Just give me the four tacos.

This is the kind of shit that pisses me off. Taking an order at a fast food restaurant doesn’t even require a person to know much English. You have to know a few key words like “Burger,” “Sandwich,” “French Fries,” and “Fish.” Other than that, all you need to know is basic conversational English and how to count our currency. I’m not asking for much.

If you’re going to live and work in America, just learn basic English. You get to come here (legally and even illegally which is another issue all together) and take advantage of all of our freedoms and all I ask in return is that when I place a simple order, you get it right. Because seriously, if this bullshit happens again, I’m calling la migra from my cell phone.

13 comments:

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badgerbob said...

Fucking spamsuckers!

This may sound wacko,but...
Maybe the taco lady spoke good english and was just messing with you? After you left in disgust, they may have had a good laugh. One never knows.
second scenario... The lovely dirty blonde lady had you followed out of morbid curiosity, and set this up for a good laugh?
English should be mandatory in public places. If you can't pass a basic oral and written english test, you should not be allowed in this country.

morbid misanthrope said...

badgerbob -
1.) It could have been just a joke, but based on how often this shit actually happens, it's more of a plague.
2.) I'm such a paranoid, pseudo-ninja, if I had been followed, I would have known and "disposed of" the threat.
I agree with you though, if you're going to live here, speak the language. It's not much to ask.

drunkbh said...

Did you know that America doesn't have a national language? That's right, English isn't the national language because that powers that be don't want to offend anyone. Try living in South Florida. Half the people here don't know any English. This is why I learned to say kiss my ass in Spanish.

morbid misanthrope said...

drunkbh - If elected president, I will make English the official language of America. Because frankly, I don't care who I offend.
In California, the charter (or whatever it's called) states that English is the official language. Unfortunately, it doesn't make much of a difference. I live like 20 minutes from the border, I know all about people not speaking English. But I refuse to speak Spanish; I'm such an idealist.

Victor said...

YOU refuse to speak spanish heh? Well thats all good, at one point i refused to speak english as well. And trust me the lady taking your order was jerking you around.
Good thing i only have that kind of trouble in chinese restaurants... Huh? u ordar soap? u go now, u eat too much(starts yelling in chinese)

morbid misanthrope said...

viczilla - She wasn't fucking with me. She was just another foreigner who didn't bother to learn English well enough to take a fast food order. I went to college with tons of Asians who spoke English much better than her. Plus, they were here legally.

Victor said...

LOL ow ow shit, ur bashing on beaners... careful who u say that to. "SOME" people might get offended...

morbid misanthrope said...

viczilla - No, I'm bashing people that come here illegally and don't learn the language. Mexicans aren't the only people guilty of that shit. Let people get offended; fuck em. And what is your problem? Are you so busy you can't take the time to write "you're" or "you?" That "ur" and "u" shit makes you look like an illiterate asshole.

Victor said...

LOL there we go! let it all out loser. U are a douche, douche douche douche.

morbid misanthrope said...

viczilla - I'd rather be a douche than a human rectal wart like you, you fucking peon.

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