Friday, October 06, 2006

Fuck Proposition 86

In the state of California, people will soon have the chance to vote whether or not they want to piss me off. No, this doesn’t refer to the jury of The State of California v Morbid Misanthrope, which, by the way, doesn’t even go to trial until next year. And no matter what the media says, the state of California deserved it.

Regardless of my innocence or so-called guilt, the vote to which I’m referring is the upcoming general election. This election is full of new propositions—much like Rosie O’Donnell’s boxer-briefs are full of critters of indeterminate species—that the dumbass masses get to embrace or reject. While several of the propositions anger me in ways I can’t even begin to describe coherently, the one that’s really proverbially kicking my proverbial bull in the proverbial nuts is proposition 86.

Proposition 86, Initiative Constitutional Amendment and Statute, is basically ANOTHER tax on cigarettes. Currently, every pack of cigarettes sold in California is taxed 87 cents. The money collected from these excise taxes goes to fund a variety of things I don’t give two shits about: early childhood development programs, tobacco education and disease-research programs, and health-care services for uninsured people, etc. So not only am I paying for my own insurance, but if I want to smoke I’m paying for uninsured fuckers, too. Goddamn socialism. I mean, what the hell is this, Nazi China?

87 cents per pack is bad enough, but proposition 86 would enact a 13-cents-per-cigarette tax in California. And although my math is almost as bad as my language, I can tell with little difficulty that this bullshit proposition will cost smokers an additional $2.60 per pack. That’s like getting prison raped and shanked at the same time while a rabid vampire prison guard drinks the blood.

The reason they want to tax the hell out of cigarettes (and tobacco products) is, again, to give that “extra” money—$2.2 billion annually, for the first year, anyway—to causes I don’t care about. Basically, most of that money will go to hospital corporations and HMOs, not to mention that section 9 of the proposition gives hospitals exemption to antitrust laws.

If the dickasses behind this proposition would just walk up to people, kick them in the nuts, take their wallets, and rape their beloved housecats and other various comically undersized pets, at least everyone would know what they were up to. But proposition 86 is being paraded as a means to keep people (especially those poor, misguided minors) from smoking. Presumably, if cigarettes cost enough to finance a medium-sized expedition to South America to find the lost city of gold, people won’t buy them anymore. Bullshit. I know people who would use their genitals as wolverine bait to get a cigarette. People are going to keep smoking, they’ll just be more pissed off and have another reason to kickstart a politician’s head up his/her ass. And if minors want cigarettes, high prices aren’t going to stop them either.

These assholes are acting like they’re doing smokers a favor by trying to get this proposition passed.

“You poor, poor fools—we’re doing this for your own good. This will help you quit or keep you from starting.”

Wipe the single tear off your face and shut the fuck up. You seeping anal boils know people are going to keep buying smokes, and you’re drooling like retards over all the money you’re going to rake in. Shit, smokers are already killing themselves. Don’t try to bankrupt them, too. If you’re a Californian, go here to learn more about proposition 86.

Why is it whenever more tax money is needed in this state, they tax alcohol and/or tobacco? I have to work three jobs and mortgage my DVD collection just to buy a bottle of rotgut and a pack of smokes. I’m not running for any political office, but if I were my platform would be …




That’s right: tax porn. I knew people that would spend over 40 bucks for a porn tape (tape, not DVD) on a regular basis. Do you really think these wrist-ready perverts, so eager to prime the rhino they’ll pay anything for porn, are going to care or even notice an extra tax on their smut? Probably not, but even if they did, it’s time for the government to tax a vice other than alcohol and tobacco. If they don’t want to pay the porn tax, they can resort to the internet; however, I can’t have a virtual drink or smoke. Besides, isn’t it time these porn-buying self-manipulators actually get fucked by someone else?

29 comments:

NewYorkMoments said...

Remember when the colonists got so pissed off about another tea tax that they held the Boston Tea Party?

morbid misanthrope said...

newyorkmoments -- Those were the days. I think now instead of throwing tobacco in the drink, we need to throw in the politicians. Not only will we make a point, but we'll also be able to tell--depending on if they float or not--if any of them are witches. I can certainly name a few I suspect of being witches.

badgerbob said...

Hey leave us porn stars out of this.

neko said...

tax is a bitch. in this country, [scuse my cynicism], i believe the larger part of taxes are used to line the politicians' pockets. corruption is rife in good ole South Africa... *sigh*

morb, arent alcohol and ciggs vices too?

but, im with you on taxing porn!! itd make auditing the revenue service a million times more interesting!

Cherry! said...

They do the same thing here. It's a joke that they say it's to prevent people from smoking but it's just an excuse to rob us of our money. Assholes!

morbid misanthrope said...

badgerbob -- The stars of the porn movies--even the badgers--wouldn't have to pay any extra taxes. Only the porn itself and related products would be taxed. The porn industry rakes in over ten billion dollars a year. Even a small percentage of that would be enough to buy a few politicians summer houses in the Bahamas. That would give the smokers and drinkers a well-deserved respite from all the ridiculous taxes. Taxing alcohol and tobacco all the time is racist; I just need to find some ethnic types to make that claim so politicians will take the issue seriously.


Neko – Suffice it to say politicians in America and politicians in South Africa are motivated by the same corrupted desires. I believe it was Jesus who said, “The love of money is the root of all evil.” Of course, He said that when the Pharisees wouldn’t let Him test-drive a Porsche He couldn’t pay for. The fact is bloodsuckers are bloodsuckers, and I’d like to see someone else’s blood purloined for a change.

As I said, “…it’s time for the government to tax a vice other than alcohol and tobacco.” Alcohol and tobacco are indeed vices--sweet, sweet vices—but they shouldn’t be whipping boys for greedy tax collectors. And while I can’t see how taxing porn would make your job any more interesting, I’m willing to add that to the list I’m sending to the government, entitled “The Benefits of Taxing Pornography, Because if You Tax Cigarettes or Tobacco Again, I Swear to Odin I Will Kill Barbara Boxer ‘Cause I Can.”

Cherry – It truly is a pity that things so pure and wonderful as alcohol and tobacco could be exploited so terribly. If I get into government one day, I guarantee this shit will be fixed. I am willing—100 percent—to kick politicians in the nuts, so I figure I’ll get what I see as necessary passed quite often.

NewYorkMoments said...

MM, tell me how it's possible for a bulldyke to have NO balls????

honkeie2 said...

What I find interesting about why they rase taxes is this:
Everytime they raise taxes they say its for this and for that. Then a few years later they say they have to do it again, but for new reasons. Soooo what happened for all that money from the first tax hike? It seems it was all spent on hookers, booze, trips to bring over seas hookers and hooch over and government offical's pay raises. So all those programs did not get anything the first time around, but the congress wants thier turn on the money train, senate already had thier turn.

morbid misanthrope said...

newyorkmoments -- Um ... because until the operation they're still technically female, having female genitals. Some dykes, however, are so masculine their ovaries shrivel up and harden, at which point they look like testicles on an x-ray. Why do you ask?

honkeie2 -- Yeah really. I'm betting some of the CA politicians will be taking several trips to Thailand if this proposition passes. You know, for the child prostitution ... 'cause politicians are bastards.... You know what I'm talking about.

Polyman3 said...

Yea! Booze & cigs get a bad rap.
Morb, I'm with you! Tax porn-
No, even better yet- cut the salaries and perks these bastards in gov't get and put that money to some god damn bork barrel cause some asshole dreamed up so their special interest friends can get their fucking favor (for helping get them elected) paid back.
There.

morbid misanthrope said...

polyman 3 -- "Special interest friends"--Is that a politically correct term for retard? Haw! Seriously, though, fucking crooked bastards.

just thinking said...

I've never been in favor of these alcohol/tobacco taxes either.

morbid misanthrope said...

just thinking -- Smoker or not, that tax is just unfair. And stupid.

Richard said...

I happen to agree that smokers and boozers should get their arses taxed off, if only on account of them often being inconsiderate pricks! If a person who has smoked a cigarette 15 minutes ago walks into a room I am in he immediately stinks up the place with his breath and the smell of his clothes. Non-smokers can smell that shit a long way away. I am, however, all in favour of porn tax, too. Things that give cheap enjoyment can be taxed until the cows come home and people will end up paying. I don't care if I have to pay 25 or 50 bucks for a month of porn site access, personally :-)

honkeie2 said...

What I find really werid about our government is that the more something doesnt work the more they use it. Raising taxes has never, to my knowledge, fixed anything but they keep doing it. If everytime I masterbated with olive oil I got a rash I would never do that again. But according to how the government works I should keep doing it no matter what.

honkeie2 said...

Well Richard like I always say opions are like assholes, everyone has one. And no, smokers and drinkers shouldnt be taxed to death. That is discremination, lets tax the shit out of bible sales and all those retarded as 'Jesus' freak books stores. Better yet lets tax the living hell out of knitting needles and art supply stores. Those faggots in there should have tax on their toys as well.
And whats up with your blog.....Only team members can comment on your gay infested site? Seems a little wimpy to me, no wonder u hate drinkers and smokers. U cannt run with the real men who vomit and piss on themselves as they sleep!

morbid misanthrope said...

richard -- Just because smoking is irritating to some people is no reason smokers should be taxed so severely. If you taxed everyone who smelled bad or did something annoying, everyone would be broke. Throwing new taxes around as punishment is wrong. If it were up to me, no taxes would be raised; I only brought porn into the debate as an alternative to taxing tobacco which is already taxed unfairly. If, however, you don't mind spending fifty extra bucks on porn every month, feel free to send me the extra money. You know, since they're not really raising the cost of your porn access you can still send me the money to prove your point. I, in turn, will spend the money on alcohol. We all win.

Honkeie2 -- Nice avatar. Have the religious types been pissing you off lately? I'm sensing some aggression.

Good point, though. Raising taxes never really makes the difference its proponents say it will.

I saw this movie, Calling Bobcat, where the main characters believed if they drank olive oil, they could drink all the booze they wanted without getting drunk. I wouldn't suggest trying it. It didn't go all that well in the movie.

And I'm surprised: you can't tell what a Jesus freak I am? I thought it was so obvious.

honkeie2 said...

I found this avatar on photobucket and I have always been a bit of a satan freak. Just because everyone I hate got freaked out by Anton Levay and his groupies. I even kept several of his books in my locker in high skool as props to futher their fears of me eating raw cat flesh and using skulls for ceral bowls. I went to a very Bush Friendly high skool, fake religion can be fun.
But for the record I do not follow and form of orginized religion. I just think the dark side's paraphernalia is cool haha.

morbid misanthrope said...

honkeie2 -- I know what you mean. It's amazing how easily frightened some religious types are by Lavey (a sissy-ish baldy living in a hippy-esque commune house in SF), Crowley (a bi-sexual heroine junkie that died alone, diseased, and insane), and the like.

I discovered, accidentally, that many Christians are deathly afraid of even the most un-frightening metal. While warming up to play with the church band, something I had to do at that time, I played some Megadeth; it instantly killed three people. Amazing.

just thinking said...

Hey Morbid, How about a guest post from you on our blog ?

morbid misanthrope said...

just thinking -- I'd probably be willing to do it; however, it is likely to deter people from reading your blog again. Some people consider me a bit off-putting, to put it mildly. If you're serious, though, feel free to send me an e-mail with the details.

neko said...

i completely understand the "fear of anything even slightly satanic by religious types" thing.

at my old high school, you could get expelled just for not being the model of jesus-freakness.

people thought i was a witch. it was hilarious. they asked me to curse some teachers.

morbid misanthrope said...

neko -- Seriously, for a bunch of people that believe God--their close, personal friend--created the entire universe and has unlimited power, they sure tend to be pansies.

I think they should start wearing steel-toed boots. Steel-toed boots can make anyone feel like a badass.

BD said...

What's The Word...

morbid misanthrope said...

bd -- That's pretty cool.

just thinking said...

B, really :)) Morbid we will email you..

badgerbob said...

Holy fuck mr. morbid. It's about time for a new post, wouldn't you say?

morbid misanthrope said...

badgerbob -- It probably is, but I'm pretty busy. I know: I'll just post something ridiculous I found online! Yay!

morbid misanthrope said...

No I won't....