Friday, June 29, 2007

The Birth of the iPhone


20 comments:

Prunella Jones said...

I didn't actually. I'm waiting for the version that's supposed to come out next year, that let's you talk directly to Jesus and has a laser to remove unsightly facial hairs. I can't wait!

Willow said...

I'd be willing to wait for the Jesus communicator/laser hair remover version myself, although to make it the perfect accessory I think it needs a few more handy gadgets.

I'd like a switchblade that doubles as a roast turkey carving dagger; a cloaking device that allows me to hide from irate ninjas; a bullshit detector that finds and annihilates bullshitters within a 5 mile radius; and a direct line and deal with all KFC outlets so that their seasoned pigeon/chicken/pork/seagull bbq meal can be on my plate in 10 minutes with the bones and remnants later picked up and thrown at some random PETA member, Islamic Jihadist, or Superhero.

morbid misanthrope said...

prunella jones -- I might be interested in a phone with a laser, provided it wasn't an iAnything and the attached laser could be used to burn dirty words into the sides of people's cars. I already have a walkie-talkie direct line to Jesus.

willow -- Good point. A switchblade is pretty much a necessity these days. And if anyone has invented a cloaking device that will hide you from ninjas, I certainly haven't seen it--that's why I'm constantly getting attacked by rival ninjas.

I would, however, suggest that you choose Popeye's over KFC for all of your fried chicken needs. Their chicken strips are delicious. Popeye's is a New Orleans style fried chicken joint, so all orders come with a bucket of filthy water and sludge you can poor over your food for an authentic New Orleans experience. Now that’s classy!

neko said...

whatsa "cumbrain"?

My vocab has certainly expanded since i've added this page to my daily reading.

morbid misanthrope said...

neko -- I have no idea. You'll have to ask that foul-mouthed iPhone. Such a rude piece of technology, the iPhone.

badgerbob said...

Popeyes is ok if you can handle the fact, that it is usually staffed by ex-cons, who are very likely to spit or piss in your food if offfended by your attidude, when ordering.
And you probably thought it was just grease.

Willow said...

I think I'll try Popeye's and see if it's finger-linkin' and marrow-eatin' good...but I'm doubtful that the combination of dirty water and sludge will beat out the Colonel. Maybe if they throw in some mold and fungus...

I'm sure that it wasn't the badger's bad attitude that offended the staff at Popeyes and caused them to take such drastic measures; it was probably his bad breath and foul body odor that did the trick.

morbid misanthrope said...

badgerbob -- Yeah, and I'm sure KFC is run by a bunch of missionaries with no criminal records who breastfeed baby kittens back to health every night. The employees at Popeye's are almost all black. Do you have a problem with black people, badgerbob? Or should I call you Robert Byrd?

willow -- I've been trying to convince the manager at Popeye's to sell a Bag O Marrow, but there's not enough demand for it to convince her it's profitable. Maybe I should start an e-mail campaign. You'd send an e-mail marrow request to Popeye's headquarters, wouldn't you?

I don't know how the Popeye's employees would smell Badgerbob over the burning grease and meth-lab fumes coming from the shack next door. I wonder why there's always a meth lab next to Popeye's; must have to do with laylines or something.

Rodrigo said...

Oi, achei teu blog pelo google tá bem interessante gostei desse post. Quando der dá uma passada pelo meu blog, é sobre camisetas personalizadas, mostra passo a passo como criar uma camiseta personalizada bem maneira. Até mais.

morbid misanthrope said...

rodrigo -- Dude, are you Brazilian? I hate Brazilians.

honkeie2 said...

I love Brazilian women....they have more sluts per person than anywhere in the world. Maybe the next iphone can have a 'whore finder'

neko said...

i think a 'slut finder' would be better.

whores cost munny.

badgerbob said...

Not only do I not like black people, I equally despise all other races and religions. As a matter of fact, I hate everyone. Wouldn't that make me, the real misanthrope?

morbid misanthrope said...

honkeie2 -- I'm sure you're perfectly capable of finding whores without a fancy iphone whore detector. Generally, a few handfuls of loose change is the only whore detector you need.

neko -- In these uncertain times, frugality is a virtue.

badgerbob -- Badgers are very territorial, so that's probably why you hate everyone. I suppose you're still somewhat misanthropic; although, you're just following the instincts nature gave you. It’s always funny to watch a badger maul something. Keep up the good work.

BD said...

All this talk of the iPhone, it must be terrorist related...

morbid misanthrope said...

bd -- Only if you enable the iPhone's Jihad feature.

NewYorkMoments said...

I'm waiting for the version that licks my pussy.

morbid misanthrope said...

newyorkmoments -- I think there's a number you can call to ask Steve Jobs about that. I hope you like dorky middle-aged men with a penchant for turtlenecks and crappy computers.

neko said...

morb, it's creepy that you would know that.

morbid misanthrope said...

neko -- I read a lot of tech magazines. Also, Steve Jobs usually advertises in the local coupon mailer, The Pennysaver.