Friday, June 15, 2007

Friday Night Metal Show


From the Desk of Morbid Misanthrope:

I'm actually leaving my house to go to this show tonight. It's the first metal show I've been to since I saw Anal Blast over a year ago. I'll probably write something about it when it's all over, so at least anyone reading this crap knows a legitimate post is forthcoming. Probably.

Staying totally necro as always,

Morbid Misanthrope


22 comments:

Prunella Jones said...

Very good. Sometimes a person needs to get out and head butt a few others while wildly thrashing their body around to a grating cacophony. I'm glad you are getting out of the house. Whenever I checked on you during my nightly astral travels, I found you watching the 7- Day Miracle Colon Cleanse infomercial over and over.

"That boy really needs to get out more," I thought to myself.

Anyway I hope you had fun and I look forward to hearing about the show. Oh and I hope you didn't order the colon product. It's a ripoff.

morbid misanthrope said...

prunella jones -- I don't really thrash around all that much. Despite my filthy language and propensity toward senseless violence, I'm really rather graceful. During "extreme" metal shows, I like to practice my ballroom dancing. I believe the old saying is something like: “If you can maintain an air of sophistication while practicing a waltz to music with a blast beat, you can make it anywhere.”

Anyway, I really prefer the Sonic Blade infomercial, but for some reason it's not on quite as often as that colon product. And the Sonic Blade infomercial is really just a sorry replacement for The Knife Show. Tom O'Dell is my hero.

Cherry! said...

You're leaving the house? You must be drunk.......

morbid misanthrope said...

cherry! -- Quite the opposite, unfortunately.

Erica AP said...

You are such a hardcore metal punk. You punk ass!! (please don't body slam me because I call you names...)

morbid misanthrope said...

There's nothing punk about this metalhead. I don't body slam people, either--punch, kick, headbutt, or stab maybe, but not body slam.

neko said...

good grief, Anal Blast?

sounds... gross.

hope you found your way home after the show.

morbid misanthrope said...

neko -- Anal Blast is a cool band comprised of a bunch of guys as classy as the band name would suggest.

I got home fine, eardrums only slightly worse for wear.

Captain Smack said...

You mean there's already a band called Anal Blast? Well that's just great. I already named my new bluegrass band the same thing. Guess I better be off to Kinkos to reprint all those flyers.

morbid misanthrope said...

captain smack -- Dude, the same thing happened to me when I named my Taiko drum troupe the Meat Shits. That name was taken, so I had to recall all of the collectible key chains I had made to promote our group. We then changed our name to Buttgasm, but three of the drummers left to form their own group, calling themselves Assgasm out of spite. The world of professional Taiko drumming is very cruel.

Eve said...

Anal Blast?

I think they've been using my bathroom. That, or Steph's friend.

morbid misanthrope said...

eve -- I wouldn't be surprised. They've been known to leave a trail of totally devastated bathrooms in their powerful, metal wake.

NewYorkMoments said...

Anal Blast? Do you know my ex-boyfriend, too?

neko said...

Assgasm??

wth.

metal artists' creativity, is seems, is exceeded only by their vulgarity.

**euw**

morbid misanthrope said...

newyorkmoments -- I might. Is he a filthy redneck in a monstrously filthy metal band?

neko -- Vulgarity and a refusal to bathe regularly.

Prunella Jones said...

Wait a minute. My boyfriend plays the electric banjo in a metal band called Enema Men. Maybe you've heard of them? They rock! But he isn't a redneck. He's just country, like Britney Spears. And he's not filthy! Well, maybe he's a little filthy. But only because soap and water are bad for his albino skin.

morbid misanthrope said...

prunella jones -- Dude, can you get me your boyfriend's autograph? Last time I asked him for it he said he couldn't write yet, but he thought the hooked on phonics was working. If he can write his name now, he's well ahead of Britney Spears. His band kicks ass. So, please, ask him about that autograph. I'll understand if it's in crayon or just a partially legible smear of strawberry jelly.

honkeie2 said...

Anal Blast...sounds like the end of a very funny sentence.
"You would not beleive that she let me have the Anal Blast."
Love to see pictures of a metal concert. The people that attened these shows are usually the cream of the crop gene pool scrappings.

morbid misanthrope said...

honkeie2 -- The people that attend metal shows are usually pretty interesting; however, at this show, the crowd was much different. What the fuck is happening in the world these days when a bunch of emo kids hang out at metal shows? I'll be posting something about that soon.

Prunella Jones said...

Well to tell you the truth, Morbid, I don't think he is very interested in learning to write. He doesn't even like to speak. He mostly communicates with me by grunting and hand gestures. When I asked him about that autograph for you, he unleashed a series of high pitched squeals and hoots that he normally only does whenever I put on one of my Radiohead CDs, and then he spit a big wad of chewing tobacco at the paper I was holding up. It did leave a pretty good brown stain. Want me to send that to you?

jungle jane said...

"Being an all-ages venue, there was no alcohol on the premises"

Whaaaaaaaaaa? i would have been out of there.

Quote of the year: "I wish I had emo grass. It would cut itself"

morbid misanthrope said...

prunella jones – Well, grunting and hand gestures is about 95% of metal, so that probably works out for him pretty well. Sure, I’ll take the tobacco-stain autograph, but I’d really prefer the autograph he usually gives people where he stomps on a chicken until its head pops off and wraps its livers up in a piece of butcher paper. I’ll take whatever autograph I can get; you probably don’t let him stomp on chickens in the house.

jungle jane – That is a pretty good quote. Emo is, apparently, the new goth. I only saw one fruity goth kid in striped socks that needed an ass-kicking. Everyone else was emo. What’s wrong with these goddamned freaks? If you’ll excuse me, I have to go stop my other independently sentient personalities from manifesting physical forms and fighting over which CD to play in the stereo next.