International Cursing!

I’ve watched a number of Japanese horror movies over the past few months. These movies are usually pretty gruesome, often with sick and twisted endings, and full of graphic violence and language. Since I am prone to immature Beavis and Butthead like fits of laughter brought on by filthy language, I decided to go online and look for some more Japanese insults, swear words, and phrases.

Below are a few of the more interesting phrases I found. Some of them are pretty funny too. Some of the following phrases are so humorous – to me anyway – they’re less insulting and more entertaining. Feel free to look at this list not as more senseless filth on the internet, but as an exercise in ethnic and cultural diversity.

Note: I don’t speak Japanese at all so don’t give me a hard time if any of the words are wrong. I got them off the internet and have no real way of knowing if they are accurate or not.

Mattsu! – Oh crap!
As in, “Oh crap! I just found out all that soft roe I was eating was fish sperm!”

Hara guzuchi o tataku na – Shut the fuck up
Very important to know when you’re in a Japanese karaoke bar and some drunkass businessmen start singing the Spice Girls’ greatest hits or that fucking Chumbawamba song.

Kisama – Lord of the donkeys
I’m not sure if that’s really an insult. I mean, lord of the donkeys is a more impressive title than the one I have at work.

Kisama Tama – Lord of donkey’s balls
I’d be amazed if someone was capable of using this insult in anger, with a straight face. I know I couldn’t.

Issunboshi – One inch boy (refers to penis size)
There are a lot of small penis insults out there, and this is by far the least threatening.

Chinkasu – Dick cheese
An oldie but a goodie.

Benjo Mushi! - Shithouse insect!
Filthy, poo - bug is a pretty good insult as far as I’m concerned.

Anatano ohkaasan wa kuso desu! - Your mother is shit!
This insult sort of bypasses that whole clichéd “your mamma is so fat” stage. Saying this to someone is kind of like asking to be punched in the face.

Curry aji no unko ka unko aji no curry ka docchi ga ii? - Which is better, curry-flavored shit, or shit-flavored curry?
A question for the ages, really. Although, I think most people prefer curry flavored curry.

Anata no ketsu wa kusa da oyobi ore wa shibakariki da! - Your ass is grass, and I'm the lawnmower!
This could well be the world’s coolest threat. It’s only cool, of course, if after you say it to someone, you beat their ass royally. Otherwise, you’re going to look like a tool.