Saturday, May 05, 2007

Thing I Learned About Japan from Japanese Horror Movies #3,267




20 comments:

BD said...

Isn't it, GAI-AKA!!! No, thats only when they see a 200 foot tall dinosaur type thing...

morbid misanthrope said...

bd -- They may be technologically advanced, but let's see them make a rotating sliding door.

neko said...

why not just rush through the door, aren't they made of paper?

that's what anime taught me - sliding doors of painted paper.

Anni said...

...And no matter what, if someone is being chased, they WILL go upstairs, despite the obvious fact that they will be trapped.

Prunella Jones said...

Things I've learned about Japan from reading Japanese manga:

1. everybody has huge tear filled eyes and cute little talking pets that fight battles for you.

2. there are giant robots everywhere.

morbid misanthrope said...

neko -- Very true. Most doors in Japan are made of paper. This is unfortunate because every time it rains they have to re-paper all of them. The only doors that are not paper are the doors to the little police station outposts. These doors are actually made of aluminum and glass; they're old shower doors from Western-style hotels in the Tokyo area.

Interesting fact: Even though their doors are held together with paper and can be walked through easily, no one walks through them. In Japan, you see, only delinquents and students who fail to pass college application exams walk through doors. Nobody wants to be called a delinquent--not even delinquents.

anni -- Perhaps in Japan, everyone keeps their weapons upstairs; or, more likely, their escape rocket ships/Gundams.

prunella jones -- I have cute little pets that fight battles for me. And by that, I mean I carry around vials of the AIDS virus to throw at people dumb enough to fuck with me.

Prunella Jones said...

Very good Morbid, but hardly much help against the invading giant robots.

morbid misanthrope said...

prunella jones -- What? You've never heard of Giant Robot AIDS?

*Insert joke about scuzzy drives here*

BD said...

You know I was just told today how Linux doesn't like Scusi...

morbid misanthrope said...

bd -- And here I was expecting a computer joke about 9" floppies.

badgerbob said...

Things I learned, as an intern in a japanese prison.
1.Always keep your eye on your kitty, or it may end up on your dinner plate.
2.Don't drink brown water.
3.A sharpened chopstick makes a great weapon.

BD said...

5" isn't it?!

morbid misanthrope said...

badgerbob -- Japanese prison isn't that bad. In fact, the internet connection there is faster in a cell than it is here in my house, the guards are all great at Dance Dance Revolution, the prison rec room had more Nintendo Wiis than the video game store I frequent, and the toilet seat warmers were automatic. It was like a vacation. I did get hooked on J-Pop while I was there, though. I still have to attend meetings.

bd -- Maybe in Europe....

honkeie2 said...

Things I've learned about Japan watching TV:
1) Their mouths move faster than the words coming out.
2) The women never seem to look like the ones in the porn tapes I have.
3) Anyone who looks asian is a martial arts expert

BD said...

Rock on Europa...

How do you feel about drag queens?

morbid misanthrope said...

honkeie2 -- I've heard the "everyone that looks Asian is a martial-arts expert" theory before, and, from my experience with said theory, I know it is untrue.

When I was younger, I had a crazy aunt--she died recently in an auto accident, while trying to flip off an ambulance and a helicopter simultaneously--I used to visit in Atlantic City from time to time. She used to say I looked "kinda Asian ... maybe some kinda Mongolian or some shit." Then she called me Attila and made me hold her cigarettes while she threw up in the sink (she had TB and drank a lot of alcohol).

Anyway, according to her I looked “kinda Asian” yet I am no martial-arts expert; therefore, not every Asian-looking person is ... actually, I'm a ninja. Nevermind, I guess it is true.

bd -- Unless they're on Monty Python or Kids in the Hall I'm not a fan. I'm extraordinarily intolerant.

NewYorkMoments said...

They have super fucked up hair, too.

morbid misanthrope said...

newyorkmoments -- I think they prefer to call it feathered or something.

BD said...

Was that hint for someone to bring up bird flu?

morbid misanthrope said...

bd -- Now there's a terrifying disease.

"Fuuuuck! I've got grousepox! Quarantine my ass before it mutates into canary fever and spreads!"