Saturday, December 24, 2005

For My Brother

A cancelled flight (damn fog) and having to spend the night in an empty airport: This is a mild irritant.

Going outside the airport for a relaxing smoke (around 11:45 p.m.) only to return later to find the security area closed until 4:45 a.m. and having to spend most of the night outside the terminal: Son of a bitch!

Finding the only open “eatery” outside the terminal and getting a barely edible BLT from Subway: Salmonella sounds good right about now.

Finally boarding the plane at 6:10 a.m. (Christmas Eve morning) only to discover at least an hour delay on the runway: Hey, at least I get to breathe warm recycled air while some flipper baby cries like an apologetic politician after getting caught with three midget hookers and a transsexual bull fighter.

Still on the plane but getting delayed on the runway for another hour: If airport security wasn’t so tight, I would have already put a bullet in my brain.

Getting home at last: Almost as painless as getting your wisdom teeth pulled out of your ass while stabbing your scrotum with rusty hypodermic needles.

Spending Christmas with the family: Meh…

Merry Christmas, Bro!

7 comments:

honkeie2 said...

such a colorfull way of painting a verbal picture. too funny

morbid misanthrope said...

honkeie2 - You should hear the way my brother tells it: it's all screaming and f-bombs.

just thinking said...

heh...

Slutbag said...

nice...nothing like starting the holidays off right!

morbid misanthrope said...

slutbag - Much like starting the holidays with a broken beer bottle to the face.

tote_bagof_balls said...

What the fuck is auh god-damn F-bomb....never mind.

P.S. penis penis penis penis.....

p.s.s A Screaming F-Bomb should be a drink. (maybe some gin, whiskey, and maple surup)

morbid misanthrope said...

tote_bagof_balls - An F-bomb is when you say the F-word, i.e., fuck.

I hope that "penis penis penis penis" was a reference to the cartoon Mission Hill.

Leave out the maple syrup and it might be an ok drink. Hell, as long as it will get you wasted, right?