A cancelled flight (damn fog) and having to spend the night in an empty airport: This is a mild irritant.
Going outside the airport for a relaxing smoke (around 11:45 p.m.) only to return later to find the security area closed until 4:45 a.m. and having to spend most of the night outside the terminal: Son of a bitch!
Finding the only open “eatery” outside the terminal and getting a barely edible BLT from Subway: Salmonella sounds good right about now.
Finally boarding the plane at 6:10 a.m. (Christmas Eve morning) only to discover at least an hour delay on the runway: Hey, at least I get to breathe warm recycled air while some flipper baby cries like an apologetic politician after getting caught with three midget hookers and a transsexual bull fighter.
Still on the plane but getting delayed on the runway for another hour: If airport security wasn’t so tight, I would have already put a bullet in my brain.
Getting home at last: Almost as painless as getting your wisdom teeth pulled out of your ass while stabbing your scrotum with rusty hypodermic needles.
Spending Christmas with the family: Meh…
Merry Christmas, Bro!
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6 comments:
such a colorfull way of painting a verbal picture. too funny
honkeie2 - You should hear the way my brother tells it: it's all screaming and f-bombs.
heh...
nice...nothing like starting the holidays off right!
slutbag - Much like starting the holidays with a broken beer bottle to the face.
tote_bagof_balls - An F-bomb is when you say the F-word, i.e., fuck.
I hope that "penis penis penis penis" was a reference to the cartoon Mission Hill.
Leave out the maple syrup and it might be an ok drink. Hell, as long as it will get you wasted, right?
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